They said..
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What a bad day.. haihh --' Everything just goes wrong. Seriously, April is not for me. I feel useless.
Mom, thanks A LOT for not talking to me and make me feel this way. It almost a week wehh! She just kept quite. And I don't think all my family knows about this. It's like I've done something worse but...
Ergh :'( Sorry for everything. I know I shouldn't post this to my blog. But I've got no choice. I have nobody to talk to. No one gonna listen to me. I'm lonely.. but it's okay because aku dah biasa :')
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April..
If only aku boleh list kan semua yang aku lalui dalam bulan April nii.. It could be a long list.
I just lost my memory card. Everything are inside there. I was crying for a long week. Nothing else I can do. I used my own money to buy sport shoes. Bukan pasal tu but.. Duit tu aku simpan utk settle suma hutang. But they don't understand. Eisha, Adam, and especially Aliah they don't use their own money to but anything they want. Until aku nak potong rambut pun guna duit sendiri. I'm not that rich. I don't have any bank account pun.. Even aku dah 17.. and should have 1, but I don't either. I told abah please jangan ungkit what ever that he has bought for me. I can be more depressed. Ape pun I love you Dad.. and I love you more than I love my mom. She is selfish. Dia selalu menang kan Adam. I can't stand it. Sometimes je aku nampak sayang umi kat aku. Tp selalu nya mesti Adam yg lebih. Seriously, as the eldest.. aku rase t'pinggir. Aku belum keje pun lagi.. masih bersekolah. Suma aku nk kene guna duit sendiri. WTF! Gaji aku keje last year pun dh habis. cousin aku punya ade lagi.. simpan. Ape2 dia nak guna duit parents dia. See! How lucky she is.
I don't have any friends. Dorang selalu terasa bila aku rapat dgn someone else. They can't be there whenever I need em'. Aku paham benda tu. Fara, Caca, Syikin, Mayor. All fake!
I am a loser. Ape yang aku buat semua malang :) Hidup penuh dengan dosa. Sentiasa mencari ketenangan. Menanti kematian..
